1. lasagnababy:

    i love being friends with my moms friends on facebook

    (via headbutting)

  2. jacobesse:

    Shit about to go down in my speech textbook.

    (via headbutting)

  3. that-stupid-tardis-sound:

    that-stupid-tardis-sound:

    one time when my dad was in college these guys found a carpet on the sidewalk and they needed furniture for their dorm so they were like “hell yeah free carpet” and they carried the carpet upstairs and it was really wet and heavy so they unrolled it to let it dry and a dead body fell out

    I’M NOT SHITTING YOU

    image

    (via headbutting)

  4. shavingryansprivates:

    "can i ask you something?"

    "you just did"

    image

    (via imscaredoftoast)

  5. frlcker:

    do u ever forget to sleep or eat or drink water or something and ur like “oh shit yeah I need that to live”

    (Source: studip, via imscaredoftoast)

    umiko-hitara:

    poisonpawz:

    zftw:

    voyagebysexualdiscovery:

    Uh oh

    wouldn’t that be awkward

    Can I get some credible sources?

    Here’s one

    and another

    and one more for the road

    (via poryqon)

  6. hardollarsign:

    flyawaymax:

    fuck i only have 151 hours left on this i better charge it quick

    do you have a fucking nuclear generator as your battery

    (via imscaredoftoast)

  7. mentalalchemy:

    fungii:

    thank god for the norwegian language

    full fart

    (via penisvvrinkle)

  8. nyxweaver:

    grandtrilobyte-eleshnorn:

    nyxweaver:

    sarkhan-volkswagen:

    nyxweaver:

    abzan-houses:

    nyxweaver:

    y’all remember that game in elementary school where each person would say one word and the next person would say a word etc so it’d create a cohesive story? let’s do that:

    Two

    Thousand

    men

    ate

    their

    dicks.

    well playtime is over you’re all grounded

    (via penisvvrinkle)